Insecurities of the Flesh

I wanna be sexy
I just feel ugly

I want someone to like me
I want someone to love me.

Am I too thin
Am I too fat

I just want to eat
I don’t care what people think
I just want to purge
I don’t care what people think
Oh how a little part of me gets lost inside
I retreat, I hide
I just want to be left alone
to die a little inside

I want someone to like me
I want someone to love me

My waist is too big
my waist is too round
My dick is too small
my dick is too long
My boobs are too big
or are they to small

I want someone to like me
I want someone to love me

Why do they all hate me
My physical scars
Which sears my soul
Why do I feel defeated
The images I see  are always
one of insecurities.

I want someone to like me
I want someone to love me

Blame the fashion , blame the T.V. ,
Blame playboy centerfold page number 3
Blame ourselves take a true look at ourselves
Why do I believe the lens
That defines what is  beauty
The mind becomes infected
by their carnival of vanity
reflected in a distorted mirror

That filter showing “what is”wrong”,
instead of what is beautiful

Eroding self confidence…
That distortion exchanged
for a  fistful of dollars
Why do they prosper
from our self-hatred?

Find the spirit
Find the soul
Find true beauty
which can only be defined by oneself

Find love in myself
Find love in life

I want to like me
I want to love me

I will shed my layers
I will shed my skin
I will shed my insecurities
I will transform from within

I will find that sacred space
I will find that balance
I will find peace
One day at a time

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8 Responses to “Insecurities of the Flesh”

  1. -sigh-

  2. Very strong words and powerful messages here. One will always have insecurities when one is constantly judged… but who is on the jury, who is the judge? The judgement lies within, once one moves past the jury, the judge holds the ultimate power…

  3. I love the evolution of this, very powerful!

  4. jasonwrites Says:

    This poem does have a building progression and provocative climax– no puns intended. Well written. I read several of your other posts– quite an intriguing blog you have here; I’ll stay tuned.

  5. Mythprogrammer Says:

    Very nice

  6. Thanks for your comments enreal, tobeme, jason and myth. Even boyo’s sigh! 😉

    Our posting has been a bit erratic lately, but hope to soon find our groove.

  7. It could just be my strange, indescribable mood plus a mix of the blatant power of this piece, but I found that after reading it my heart felt a little bit heavier. I find that whenever I look at a picture of myself, the first thing I notice is never what I think beautiful, but all the things that I think are wrong. My face is too broken out, my freckles are too prominent. My smile is slightly crooked. My waist is too round, my jawline not sharp enough. I never stop to take the time and think about how shiny the dark curls of my hair look, or how bright my blue eyes are against my dark hair and tanned skin. I don’t concentrate on the pretty, only the unpretty.

    I think that if everyone took the time to actually think about what they like about themselves we’d all be so much happier. The emptiness would soon fade once we realized that it is perfectly okay to be exactly who you were meant to be, and maybe we wouldn’t have so many problems with ourselves.

    I’ve gone off on a bit of a tangent, but I just think you should know how much I adore this piece, how deep it digs down into my gut and tugs at everything that I know and feel.

    Thank you.

    Ty.

  8. Thank you so much Ty.
    I completely understand where you are coming from.
    Focusing on what we do not like about ourselves, instead of appreciating our beauty within.
    We believe our warped mirror.
    Like I said one day at time.
    I really appreciate your comment.
    Love and lights to you

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